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SANDY'S SECRET:
www.topsecretbriefs.com
www.topsecretbriefs.com
by Dave Weinbaum
I have an “accountability friend”. The state calls him a parole
officer
Sandy Berger is back in the news. The ex-NSA Clinton Administration scion was
caught smuggling and snuggling classified documents into his underwear and
socks. No stranger to scandal, Berger was fined $23,000 for failure to sell his
Amaco stock during Clinton ’s first term. He was also criticized for not alerting
President Clinton on China ’s acquirement of our nuclear warhead designs.
Berger of the lucky party club was fined $50,000 with no jail time for what was
arguably espionage of the country’s top secrets.
Now Sandy ’s been uncovered as an “unpaid” advisor to Hillary Clinton.
Scooter Libby was convicted of lying to a grand jury -- just like Bill Clinton. Libby
wasn’t even charged with the crime special persecutor Scott Fitzgerald was
assigned to investigate, the outing of Valerie Plame as an undercover CIA
operative. The Scoot got shafted with jail time plus a fine. President Bush
pardoned his jail sentence so he wouldn’t have to hear, “Hey Scooter, would you
please pick up my soap?” from some lifer named “Bubba.” Thus far Scooter Libby’
s career is over.
Not Sandy Berger!
Berger, ever the opportunist, has started a company based on his misadventures.
He calls it “ Sandy ’s Secret”; an underwear/lingerie company for scandal ridden,
absent minded, legacy seeking politicians.
My senator won a dance contest. She did a mean wiretap
Sandy took a page out of Rush Limbaugh’s eBay embarrassment of 41 Democratic
Senators. They fraudulently attacked Rush after their “Pretreaus Betray us”
embarrassment on the senate floor and were stupid enough to send a letter to
Rush’s employer. Now those senators are paralyzed by the self described
“harmless puffball” Rush has them on slow unauthorized but legal torture while
selling the missive on the EBay rack…and all for a good cause: the college
educations of children of Marines killed in action.
These same Moveon.org controlled Senate whores have soiled the floor of what
was once the most eloquent example of democratic government on the face of the
earth.
At this time, the letter denouncing Rush is closing in on six figures, to be matched
by Limbaugh. These Libiots have unintentionally given Limbaugh a boost worthy of
winning the talk show host World Series and Super bowl combined.
Like Rush, Sandy knows the value of celebrity to make money. Similar to a
delicatessen in Manhattan , selling the Seinfeld Ham on rye, he’s using these
public figures for his garments:
There you have it.
Don’t go into the national archives naked. Go in prepared! As Sandy said at his
press conference, “Never get caught with last year’s underwear!”
Now THERE’S a public servant.
This Jew will be on the golf course trying to “perfect” his unorthodox swing…
Thanks for the inspiration, Ann.
Dave Weinbaum is a regular contributor of one-liners and commentaries to many
regional and national publications and Web sites, including the Reader's Digest,
National Enquirer, Forbes, and is a regular pundit for the prestigious www.
jewishworldreview.com . Readers can reach Dave at dwquote@prodigy.net.
I have an “accountability friend”. The state calls him a parole
officer
Sandy Berger is back in the news. The ex-NSA Clinton Administration scion was
caught smuggling and snuggling classified documents into his underwear and
socks. No stranger to scandal, Berger was fined $23,000 for failure to sell his
Amaco stock during Clinton ’s first term. He was also criticized for not alerting
President Clinton on China ’s acquirement of our nuclear warhead designs.
Berger of the lucky party club was fined $50,000 with no jail time for what was
arguably espionage of the country’s top secrets.
Now Sandy ’s been uncovered as an “unpaid” advisor to Hillary Clinton.
Scooter Libby was convicted of lying to a grand jury -- just like Bill Clinton. Libby
wasn’t even charged with the crime special persecutor Scott Fitzgerald was
assigned to investigate, the outing of Valerie Plame as an undercover CIA
operative. The Scoot got shafted with jail time plus a fine. President Bush
pardoned his jail sentence so he wouldn’t have to hear, “Hey Scooter, would you
please pick up my soap?” from some lifer named “Bubba.” Thus far Scooter Libby’
s career is over.
Not Sandy Berger!
Berger, ever the opportunist, has started a company based on his misadventures.
He calls it “ Sandy ’s Secret”; an underwear/lingerie company for scandal ridden,
absent minded, legacy seeking politicians.
My senator won a dance contest. She did a mean wiretap
Sandy took a page out of Rush Limbaugh’s eBay embarrassment of 41 Democratic
Senators. They fraudulently attacked Rush after their “Pretreaus Betray us”
embarrassment on the senate floor and were stupid enough to send a letter to
Rush’s employer. Now those senators are paralyzed by the self described
“harmless puffball” Rush has them on slow unauthorized but legal torture while
selling the missive on the EBay rack…and all for a good cause: the college
educations of children of Marines killed in action.
These same Moveon.org controlled Senate whores have soiled the floor of what
was once the most eloquent example of democratic government on the face of the
earth.
At this time, the letter denouncing Rush is closing in on six figures, to be matched
by Limbaugh. These Libiots have unintentionally given Limbaugh a boost worthy of
winning the talk show host World Series and Super bowl combined.
Like Rush, Sandy knows the value of celebrity to make money. Similar to a
delicatessen in Manhattan , selling the Seinfeld Ham on rye, he’s using these
public figures for his garments:
- ALGORE-Man Bro, with Global Warming resistant clasp and expandable
latex for those larger documents. Working on a chastity belt lock-box with a
secret compartment. Next year? Polar bear briefs and bros. Hey you have
to put those drowned arctic creatures to good use! - Hillary-Tummy and document tucking girdle, all far left snaps, with a
wireless receptor focused on the phones of her most effective opponents in
America , talk radio. - Edward Kennedy-The extra large Teddy pockets fit docs AND flasks.
- George Soros -- Deep pockets and that’s all. Trap door in the regular
pocket lets info flow to top of the socks. - Bill Clinton-Automatic zipper for those quick encounters -- electrified to
prevent unwanted “probes” from prying female senator presidential
candidates. This has nothing to do with stealing docs. Bill delegates all
THAT. - Larry and Barney-special tap socks. For small docs. Bathroom adventures
not included. - Nancy Pelosi -- ‘Roo thongs. When you stuff the pouch, they tighten up.
Explains that stupid pained grin frozen on her face. It’s really a grimace.
The suffering this woman has taken for her party is amazing! - Michael Moore -- Fake pregnancy body suit. The mother of all secret
documents carriers. You can actually fit all the Clinton scandals papers in
the plastic pliable womb. And it stretches enough to hide a stained blue
dress. Guaranteed not to leave stretch marks. - Lorena Bobbit Scissors -- Free with every order. Great for shredding
implicating documents and, AHEM, philandering husbands.
There you have it.
Don’t go into the national archives naked. Go in prepared! As Sandy said at his
press conference, “Never get caught with last year’s underwear!”
Now THERE’S a public servant.
This Jew will be on the golf course trying to “perfect” his unorthodox swing…
Thanks for the inspiration, Ann.
Dave Weinbaum is a regular contributor of one-liners and commentaries to many
regional and national publications and Web sites, including the Reader's Digest,
National Enquirer, Forbes, and is a regular pundit for the prestigious www.
jewishworldreview.com . Readers can reach Dave at dwquote@prodigy.net.