Columns
Who said...WHAT?
By Dave Weinbaum

What a confusing world we live in. Our sports heroes are “self medicated” for
success. Our business leaders are sometimes more crooked than a boomerang
that never comes back. Our “scientists” can’t prove that global warming is man
made, but want to shut up anyone that believes it isn’t.  And our politicians… well
they deserve a category of their own.  

Below are quotes of those that litter our TV screens, Internet sites, and Iowa ethanol
fields, formerly known as “corn.”  Can you see through the hyperbole and
hypocrisy?  Have at it!  Answers below.  Let me know how you did.  Cheaters get no
strudel!  

    1.        “I’d say if you lived in the United States …and you voted for George W.
               Bush, you’ve lost your mind.”  
                A.  John Edwards  
                B.  Hillary
                C.  Obama  
                D. Osama.  
                E. Laura Bush

    2.       “War is good when good survive and evil is crushed.”
               A.  Bill Clinton  
               B.  Ted Nugent  
               C.  Mitt Romney.  
               D.  Harry Reid.  
               E.  Dave Weinbaum

    3.       “If we have actionable intelligence about high-value terrorist targets
              and President Musharraf ( Pakistan ) won’t act, we will.”  
              A.  John Edwards  
              B.  General Patreus.  
              C.  Tony Blair.  
              D.  George W. Bush.  
              E.  Obama.

    4.       “ Israel was not created in order to disappear – Israel will endure and
              flourish…It carries the shield of democracy and it honors the sword of
              freedom.”  
              A.  Harry Truman  
              B.  Condi Rice  
              C.  Pat Buchanon.  
              D.  John F. Kennedy  
              E.  John F. Kerry.

    5.       “A president who breaks the law is a threat to the very structure of our
              government.”  
              A.  Richard Nixon  
              B.  Al Gore  
              C.  Dick Cheney  
              D.  Barry Bonds  
              E.  Bill Clinton

    6.       “We will have one clear unmistakable message for Al Qaeda…You
              cannot run.  You cannot hide.  We will destroy you.”  
              A.  Bill Clinton  
              B.  Hillary  
              C.  Obama.  
              D.  John Edwards.  
              E.  George W. Bush.

    7.       “Saddam has been engaged in the development of WMD technology
              which is a threat to the countries in the region and has made a
              mockery of the weapons inspection process.”  
              A.  Dick Cheney  
              B.  Colin Powell  
              C.  Bill Clinton  
              D.  Harry Reid  
              E.  Nancy Pelosi

    8.       “President Bush had five polyps removed from his colon over the
              weekend.  Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, Carl Levin, and
              Dick Durbin are all doing fine.”  
              A.  Dennis Miller  
              B.  Bill Maher  
              C.  Rush Limbaugh  
              D.  Bill O’Reilly  
              E.  Ann Coulter

    9.       “Integrity is the lifeblood of democracy.  Deceit is poison to its veins.”  
              A.  Teddy Kennedy  
              B.  Bill Clinton  
              C.  George Bush  
              D.  Cindy Sheehan  
              E.  Sean Hannity

    10.    “On 9/11/2001, we thought we were going to be attacked many, many
              times between then and now.  We haven’t been.”  
              A.  Rudy Giuliani  
              B.  Hillary Clinton  
              C.  Hillary  
              D.  John Edwards  
              E.  Harry Reid

    11.     “A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent
               of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine.”  
               A.  Adolf Hitler  
               B.  Thomas Jefferson  
               C.  Stalin  
               D.  Hillary  
               E.  Al Sharpton

    12.     “And he moved the tyranny and suppression of freedom in his own
               country, and they called it a Patriot Act under disguise of fighting
               terrorism.”  
               A.  Harry Reid  
               B.  John Kerry  
               C.  Osama  
               D.  Obama  
               E.  Hillary

    13.     “The road to tyranny, we must never forget, begins with the destruction
               of the truth.”  
               A.  Hillary  
               B.  George W. Bush  
               C.  Al Gore  
               D.  Ben Franklin  
               E.  Bill Clinton

    14.     “The American people are tired of liars and people who pretend to be
               something they’re not.”  
               A.  George W. Bush  
               B.  Nancy Pelosi  
               C.  Dick Cheney  
               D.  Harry Reid  
               E.  Hillary Clinton

    15.    “I never knew I was smart until a liberal called me stupid.”  
              A.  Dave Weinbaum  
              B.  Rush Limbaugh  
              C.  Ann Coulter  
              D.  Sean Hannity  
              E.  Bill O’Reilly


Do not look below until entirely finished!!!

George Bush’s super secret surveillance will reveal cheetahs to me… that is until
the New York Times reveals how that demented guy in the WH does it.

Answers:
  1.A  
  2.B  
  3.E   
  4.D  
  5.B   
  6.D  
  7.E  
  8.C  
  9.A  
10.A  
11.B  
12.D  
13.E   
14.E  
15.A

How’d you do?  Let me know.

If you didn’t notice the irony of the correct answers there may be no hope for you
except to stay liberal.  Please, if you do take the presidency, try not to wreck the
country in the limited time you’re in.

Thanks in advance, and…

I’ll be on the road.




Dave Weinbaum is a regular contributor of one-liners and commentaries to many
regional and national publications and Web sites, including the Reader's Digest,
National Enquirer, Forbes, and is a regular pundit for the prestigious www.
jewishworldreview.com . Readers can reach Dave at dwquote@prodigy.net.