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USS REAGAN

Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial  really puts its size into perspective...  
ENORMOUS!
When  the Bridge pipes ' Man the Rail' there is a lot of rail to man on
this  monster: shoulder to shoulder, around 4...5 acres. Her
displacement is  about 100,000 tons with full  complement...

Capability

Top  speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that
can operate for more  than 20 years without refueling

1. Expected to operate in the  fleet for about 50 years

2. Carries over 80 combat aircraft

3. Three  arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles
per hour in  less than 400 feet

Size

1.  Towers 20 stories above the waterline

2. 1092 feet long; nearly  as long as the Empire State Building is tall

3.. Flight deck covers 4.5 acres

4. 4  bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200 pounds

5.  2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing 50 tons

6. 4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over  4,000 square feet

Capacity

1.  Home to about 6,000 Navy personnel

2. Carries enough food  and supplies to operate for 90 days

3. 18,150 meals served  daily

4. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh  water from sea
water daily, enough for 2,000 homes

5. Nearly  30,000 light fixtures and 1,325 miles of cable and wiring
1,400  telephones

6. 14,000 pillowcases and 28,000  sheets

7. Costs the Navy approximately $250,000 per day for pier side
operation

8. Costs the Navy approximately $25 million  per day for underway
operations (Sailor's salaries  included).

USS CLINTON

The  USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1)  set sail today from its home
port of  Vancouver , BC

The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to
 President Bill Clinton 'for his  foresight in military budget cuts'  and
his conduct while holding the (formerly dignified) office of  President.

The ship is constructed nearly entirely from  recycled aluminum and
is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5  knots.
It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one
(unarmed) F18 Hornet  aircraft which, although they cannot be
launched on the 100foot flight  deck, form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order  there are no firearms allowed on board.

This crew, like the crew  aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is  specially
trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of  the
United States at all costs.

An onboard Type One DNC  Universal Translator can send out
messages of apology in any language to  anyone who may find
America offensive. The number of apologies are  limitless and
though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy  advises
all apologies will sound very sincere.

In times of  conflict, the USS Clinton has orders  to seek refuge in
Canada .

USS OBAMA
Details  are as vague as his past, his economic policies and his
credentials to lead.

But  don't you worry........he has a plan!